Shopping & Sunburns

I think I could totally be a California girl again. Now that it is warming up, I am remembering how much I love baking in the sunshine while laying at the beach!

Last weekend was great! Friday, Declan and I headed up to Pismo Beach again. Declan has so much fun chasing the waves, and he is always the center of attention. People here can't get enough of the chunky little tow-headed swede. Saturday was girl's day out. I drove down to Los Angeles to meet up with Natalie for a day of wining, dining and shopping in Santa Monica. The drive was long, but totally worth it. We hit up the Third Street Promenade. That is only second to the Mall of America for the best place to people watch. Unfortunately, we didn't see any celebs. Bummer.

On Sunday Thomas, Declan and I headed to San Jalama State Beach home of the famous Jalama burger. It really was the best burger ever. I'm not sure what was in the burger but it was tasty. The beach itself was gorgeous. There is only one road in and out and it is surrounded by private and federally protected land, so it is very secluded. Tom and I decided that one day we would buy a giant RV and spend our retirement eating Jalama burgers at San Jalama beach!

This weekend we are headed to San Diego to visit our old stomping grounds and meet up with old friends. We've rented a condo about a block from the beach. Grandma Diane is coming with to help out with Declan so we can enjoy ourselves. Amy Larson is joining us as well! I am so excited. It will be exactly 3 years to the day that we left, one of the saddest days of my life. We are also celebrating Thomas's 30th Birthday! Cinco De Folger!

Following Your Path

Lately I've been questioning whether or not I made the right decision in choosing to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. I'm not really sure why I have been feeling this way though. Most likely it has to do with the isolation I have been feeling here in Lompoc. I don't have any other moms to hang out with during the day and I feel like I am dying a slow death. It could also be the tremendous amount of guilt I have over my perceived inadequacy at being the perfect mom. It was recently brought to my attention, in a conversation with a fellow mom, that a study found "working" moms (aren't ALL moms working??) spent more "quality" time with their children than SAHMs. Apparently, the theory is we SAHMs just plunk our kids down in front of the TV all day while "working" moms use time with their children more wisely. The discussion then led to all the activities that are planned daily by her child's daycare provider and that her daughter came home every night with a new craft to present to her mother, in addition to having learned a couple new words or songs to share. Not only that, but daycare provider provides all the necessary daily nutrients in each meal. Now, this mom in no way was telling me this to make me feel badly about my choice to stay home or my child's inability to utter anything other than dadadadadadadada....... However, as a result of this conversation I did start wondering if I was doing enough for Declan so that he will develop on track with other kids his age and whether he will eventually gain the social skills needed to function in society.

Our day together rarely has structure. As soon as Declan gets his morning cup of milk, I plunk him in front of the TV with a banana and honey/peanut butter toast and "Jack's Great Music Show". This gives me my "wakeup" time. I get an hour to have my breakfast, drink some coffee and read the internets.  Sometimes he even watches TV for an hour and a 1/2 (The Horrors!). We occasionally try to read a book, but we never get past a couple of pages because Declan can't sit still for any length of time. He'd rather be outside throwing rocks or collecting the beer bottles that have piled up in the recycle bin.  Afternoons usually consist of a walk, a trip to the park, errands, perhaps a visit with friends and a nap. It varies from day to day. Lunches rarely include the 4 food groups. Frankly, I am tired of preparing vegetables for a child who will only put them in his mouth, discover that the offensive food may actually be healthy and spit it back out. My child has perpetual diarrhea because the only thing he will eat consistently is fruit. He also refuses to eat real meat. However, he loves processed cheese and Gerber meat sticks (are those even real???). So he gets both in abundance.  

I've often worried that I haven't been doing enough for Declan and that maybe he would be better off if an "expert" was able to take care of him during the day while I went back to work to ease the financial burden that one income can carry. I've been told my numerous women that they choose to go back to work because it makes them "better moms" if they aren't in charge 24/7. This, for some insane reason, makes me question if I should be doing the same. Only because I fall far short of what is considered the perfect mother & homemaker. 

Last Thursday I had an epiphany. Declan and I drove up the Pismo Beach to check out the town. We ended up spending the day at Pismo State Beach. PSB has close to 4 miles of open beach that you can walk along. We spent the afternoon collecting seashells, playing in the surf, walking along the coastline and enjoying the warm afternoon sun. That's where it hit me that I am doing exactly what I should be doing. I know, in my heart of hearts, that neither Declan or  I would thrive if I wasn't his primary caregiver. Declan is not the "structured playtime" type child. I am not the "working mother" type. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I do not have any career ambitions at this point in my life. And to be honest, I don't think I ever have. I am 33 years old and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. It's likely I never will either.

Being a SAHM isn't glamourous. We are always broke and rarely do I get the opportunity to get dressed up anymore. My wardrobe looks like it came from the Old Navy clearance rack. Thomas and I could really use a solo vacation to a warm and tropical destination. But these are the sacrifices we agreed on when we chose for me to stay home. The day-to-day drudgeries of raising kids and taking care of a home can be tedious and boring. But there are days, like those at the beach, where everything comes back into focus and you remember why you made the decisions you made and you realize you are on the exact path that was intended for you. And that you don't always have to fit into the mold society has placed on us. 

Monterey Bay

This past weekend was spent in one of the most beautiful little towns in California. Monterey! If you haven't been there, you must put it on your "Must See" list. Let's recap, shall we?

We left bright and early Friday morning. Map, coffee, croissants, 2 happy babies and 3 adults. We headed up the 1 so we could take in as much scenery as possible. This route takes you along the Pacific Ocean coastline. Along the way we saw elephant seals, Hearst Castle (holy shit it's huge), plunging cliffs, rocky shoreline, Big Sur and plenty of water.  It is an amazingly scenic drive but not for the faint of heart. We had high hopes of stopping every 1/4 mile to take in the views and snap lots of pictures, but unfortunately Declan & Alyssa had other plans. Always let sleeping babies lie where they are at! The whole trip up the coast took about 5 hrs. By the end, we were road weary and carsick.

Immediately after arriving, Tanya and I headed into town for some booze and clam chowder while Thomas studied. In case you aren't "in the know" Monterey is supposedly famous for it's clam chowder. Personally, I thought it was Boston but I digress. After our dinner, we picked up Tom and headed straight to the beach to take in the sunset. Public Service Announcement: Don't take booze to Asilomar State Beach because there are no public restrooms.

Saturday morning we packed up the kiddies and headed to the Pacific Grove street fair. Unfortunately there were no beer tents. But I did get a $15 carne asada burrito. Then it was off too the the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I am serious when I tell you that there were 3 bazillion people there with their 2 bazillion brats. After about an hour of staring at jellyfish and sea otters while battling for space amongst screaming youngsters we decided that to save our sanity it would be best to find recreation elsewhere. And where else but the bar!! After several Corona's and shrimp cocktails we made our way over to Cannery Row for some shopping and ice cream. Then it was off to the beach for sandcastles. After a very looooong day, we headed back to the hotel to put the kids to bed and enjoyed some Monterey chardonnay. Yummmmmm....

On Sunday morning, Thomas and I went for breakfast. Afterwards, we all headed for Fisherman's Wharf to sample more clam chowder and chardonnay. Some crazy man tried to put his parrots on the kids heads and scared the living shit out of them. Then he wanted a tip. WTF? Afterwards we headed over to yet another beach for more fun in the sun. By 3 pm we were all exhausted and decided to head home.

While I love my child with all my heart. I can't help but wish Tom and I could have taken in Monterey without Declan. There is so much to do there for adults. Lot's of nice restaurants, golfing and drinking! Pebble Beach and Carmel are just down the road, and the trip through Big Sur cannot be missed. It needs to be experienced in a convertible with lot's of stops along the way! I highly recommend Monterey as a romantic vacation destination!

Next up is a trip to San Diego to hit up the ol' stomping grounds. Looks like we will be headed back to Colorado mid-May so we need to get to the beach as often as possible!