I love rain because it gives me an excuse to stay indoors all day and watch movies. Then again, I hate rain because it keeps me indoors all day. I love rain because our grass desperately needs some water. Colorado was not meant to have green. I don't know why we insisted on laying down so much sod. It almost never rains here and the cost of water is astronomical (much like gas!). We have such tight water restrictions (once every 4 days) that our grass is always near death.
Which brings me to my next complaint. Why in the hell did Thomas and I buy a home with no landscaping? We thought "Oh! It will be so much fun to landscape and make it our own!". We are idiots. We are also idiots for buying a house on a 1/4 acre lot. I always wondered why people up in Denver buy homes so close together. Well, now I know!
Do you know how much it costs to buy a damn tree? I grew up in MN. We have trees everywhere. Compared to Colorado it looks like the amazon rainforest. Therefore, I like mature trees. Thomas and I have 3 trees. Actually, 2. Because some little insect called the "Ash Bore" killed our 3rd tree. Now our maple isn't looking so good because it can't get enough water. You know you are old when your happiness is tied to whether or not the maple you spent $400 on is thriving. That and when you are dying to ask your reclusive neighbors how they keep their grass so green.
Anyhow, back to landscaping. We recently hired a designer to give us a plan to work with. I don't want to start throwing shrubs in the ground without having a plan. I think she threw up in her mouth a little when I told her we only had about $1500 to spend on our yard this year. She works with people who drop $20K, minimum.
Since grass is so expensive to water we would like to do what is referred to as "Xeriscaping". Or, rocks. Lot's of rocks! Well, that was until we were informed it was $250 to buy a large boulder-sized rock. Seriously?! We live at the foot of the ROCKY mountains. Why does some jackass get to sell what we are surrounded by naturally for that much money? Can't we just go ind our own rock? Thomas says we would need a forklift but I say "I married you for a reason now get to work!".
We also want to put in a deck or patio. Since hiring someone is out of the question on our budget we will need to DIY. However, we can't just run to Home Depot and get some lumber for the deck. With 100+ degrees in the summer and the 6800 feet closer that we are to the sun it will warp within a year. So, we have to buy composite decking. That shit costs $33 per piece! GAH! Our deck will probably be just big enough for a couple of chairs at that rate.
So, I've given up my dream of a flagstone patio, retaining walls, a waterfall and koi pond in the backyard. For now I guess we will live with our dead ash tree, the dying maple, our sad little spruce and comatose sod.
Next house we buy will require NO LANDSCAPING!
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