Sleep. How I miss thee.

I remember being pregnant with Declan and being warned about the sleepless nights that go along with motherhood. However, it wasn't until he was born that I truly understood what it means to be "tired". Because the childless clearly have no idea.

And now that I have two, children that is, I get even less sleep than I did when it was just one. Because now I have an infant that demands a bottle at 2 a.m. And sometimes she just wants to hang out and play with mom. Or sometimes she needs a diaper change, and every once in awhile she just decides that she's really pissed off and wants to wake everyone and stay angry for no good reason. And if it isn't the baby getting me up, it's the toddler. It might be that he has wet his bed (through his "nigh nigh" diaper), or maybe he's decided he wants chocolate milk....or apple juice. It could be a nightmare or that he doesn't want the dog in the room. Sometimes he decides he doesn't want the fan on anymore or he needs a certain truck in bed with him. One time he wanted ice cream. The list is never ending really.

And because I'm not a fan of "crying it out", although I'm getting there quickly, my strategy has been to give in to whatever demands are made just so I can get back to sleep as quickly as possible. But I still average about 6 hrs of sleep a night which is why I always look.......rough. And I'm almost always cranky. My poor husband knows exactly what I am talking about. And one day I will write a blog about how it is that men can somehow sleep through every "Moooooommmmm!!!!" that is hollered through the night. This is a great example of "selective hearing".

Childless people have no idea what a luxury it is to be able to lay down and go to sleep at 10 pm and know that they will most likely sleep until the sun comes up. I would give my left tit for a full night's rest. To not be woken up for cartoons at the ass crack of dawn. You know when you hear that first cry and you've just barely woken up, and you're laying there praying to every God you can think of to pleasejustletthatdamnbabygobacktosleep over and over and over again? It's about that time where I start thinking about how nice it would be to just check into a hotel room for a weekend and lock the door.

A girl can dream.

Cock a Doodle Doo

The baby has me up with the roosters this morning so I am going to take this opportunity to update the ol' blog. Eva never got the memo that humans shouldn't be awake before 7 am and was bright eyed and bushy tailed at O'Dark Thirty (aka 4 am) this morning.

Thomas got the official OFFICIAL offer from TSA yesterday. Nothing was officially OFFICIAL until he passed the background investigation and drug test which finally happened this week. Apparently they don't want sketchy crackheads having access to top secret files on what kinds of explosives the bad guys are thinking up these days. Imagine that. His OFFICIAL start date is May 10th. I will be a Minnesotan again on May 7th. We'll pick up the moving truck on May 1st and spend the next few days loading it up with all of our wordly belongings. On May 5th we'll close up the house that will no longer be our home, say goodbye to Colorado and east on I-80.

Thomas is SO excited to start his new career. I am filled with so much anxiety I can't sleep at night. I tend to worry about everything. It's starting to look like we won't be able to buy a home this year. I just don't think it's good timing for us financially. Which really blows because now is such a good time to actually BUY a house. And I worry about that. I worry about things that are out of my control. I mean, it's not like we're going to be homeless right? The challenge is finding a rental that meets all our needs. And really being honest with ourselves about what we need and what we want. But isn't that always a challenge in life? I have faith that it will all work itself out. I just wish my brain would shut down while I am trying to sleep.

So, enough about that. Easter was last weekend. And let me just say how much fun it is to have a 3 year old on holidays like Easter. We did an egg hunt for Declan and he was just beyond excited to hunt for all his eggs. If I ever get around to uploading the video I'll post it. I think he's still waiting for the Bunny to come back and leave more blue eggs for him. And another chocolate bunny. In fact, I would like another one too as a certain short person ate mine.

May 3rd

May 3rd. That's our new date. The date our new life in Minnesota starts. And while I'm excited to see what new adventures will fill this chapter in our lives, I'm sad to be closing the chapter n our lives in Colorado. I know I've said that so many times and I'm sure most are tired of hearing it. I love living in Colorado! I've always felt at home living near the mountains. It's my happy place. We recently spent a weekend in Avon, near Vail, with my brother. Thomas took the dogs for an early morning hike before we left. Can you see why we hate to leave? When I was a kid my family vacationed every summer in Colorado. Whenever we would head east on the interstate to head back to Minnesota I would stare at the mountains we were driving away from just so I could imprint the memory of them in my brain. I hated having to head back to the flat midwest. Of course, now that I am living near the mountains I miss the lakes of Minnesota. Will I ever be satisfied? Thomas and I have already decided that we will come back regularly to give our children their very own memories of Colorado.

So, now that we have an "official" we have been able to start scheduling some projects. Laura, Tom;s mother is coming out for a week on the 17th to watch the kids while we pack. My mom flies in the 24th to take over and drive back with me. We are going to throw a "goodbye" BBQ on the 17th as well to have one last hurrah. I still have to get a moving truck reserved and we are quickly running out of boxes. Right now most of our non-essentials are packed. Without our "art" and pictures, the house feels so bare and lonely. Maybe it will make it easier to say goodbye.

I am looking forward to this weekend. It's the end of the weight loss challenge I have been participating in. And while I have no chance of winning the loot, I still lost a good amount of chub. If I can lose 3 lbs by Sunday than I will have hit the 20 lb mark. But unless I plan on eating nothing but egg whites and spinach over the next few days I don't see that happening. I would like to lose 10 more. Anybody want to join me on another challenge? I'm giving myself till June. I do better when I have to weigh in with other people.

I've got a "Girls Night Out" planned for Saturday. Can't wait for some wine and italian food with my girlfriends!